If I'm going to be a mother

I would never know whether I’ll be a mother ..
It might happen to me, just like any other women
or not….
but even though I will never be a one
I know that I have treasures belong to me forever
memories that will last to eternity ....
they are my precious memories with my lovely mother

she ain’t an ordinary mother ...
not to me ...
although she might be for anybody else

we used to walk together ...
through life ....
she is the one who always stands beside me
although sometimes she doesn’t agree with me
For reasons I never fully comprehend
I have very often...
found myself to be on the other side from hers
because I was and still am
her opinionated and fussy daughter ...

But eventually,
I’ll find her setting aside her own ego
to walk beside me, through sick and pain
light and darkness, joy and sorrow
no matter how much it may cost her..

we have walked through
a long and windy road
when I chose to study
a subject she has warned me
I might not to succeed.....
but she endured my struggle
and gave encouragement
whenever she could
whenever possible...

my gratefulness, thankfulness
for your patience and understanding...
will always be beyond words...
only God knows
how I thank you
and owe you, Mother

I remember some simple...
yet truly enjoyable moments
when we spent a lot of time
doing our favorite things together
in a really mutual understanding..
it is going shopping.....!

But she has also taught me
to find my own resources
like many examples she achieves
by her own effort and initiatives
and many talents
she continues to develop..
to be able to sustain herself
and being fully independent,
in material and spiritual

and she is the one in the house
teach me not to be too easy to judge..
always look at the brighter side..
everybody must have within them

She has always been faithful, persevere
in a lifelong struggle with her illnesses...
although I know sometimes she wants to give up..
I really desire she will just be as strong....
as she used to show me
in all kinds of tearful experience in our family..

she also always make herself available..
to listen to my stories..
and give advise wherever needed
without missing a single chance..
to share with others in need..
a sincere help and care..
food, financial aid, information, talent,
or simply yet powerful prayers

I don’t know whether I’d be a mother.....
in the future..
it might happen to me
just like any other women
or not…

But one thing I’ll know for sure..
gifts of life I will always treasure
and to be fully grateful..
having you as my mother…

For a great mother God has sent me to give me joyful, cheerful, complete, and sustainable life who has just celebrated her birthday on Jan 8, 2008, Sri Esti Wuryani Djiwandono. I miss you through all paths of my life, Mother….but even though you are not always present to cheer me and be always with me again like our olden days…I know that your life and love are always in my heart and sustain me to be a blessing for others, an everlasting hope you wish all your children to be, just like your life to all of us.

with much prayer, love, and admiration,

your daughter,

uti